Compilation of ITProfes(s)hun series

Since the day I started using the tag ‘ITProfes(s)hun’,obviously,many people demanded an explanation. Well,I do have a stupid,a desperate one.During my college days,I used to dream of a rosy life after getting a job,of giving up the sluggishness and ‘lukhagiri’ during college days and achieving something in professional life.

Well,few good things so far !

Genesis of the word ‘ITProfes(s)hun’

->Profess – An idea or belief,have knowledge about
->Shun – give up,abandon

The below one(two)-liners are a heterogenous mixtures of reality,fiction,perception,pessimism,interpretation etc.I am sure my professional kinship will be able to relate !

i: The first sub-series is a comic attempt to relate the situations,dialogues in the legendary movie ‘Sholay’ with the atmosphere in a typical IT services firm.
Some acronyms are explained below :

BA – Business Analyst
PM – Project Manager
CEO – Chief Executive Officer
QA – Quality Analyst

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series :-
BA to an embattled PM
“Ye deadline nahin,phaansi ka phanda hai“.

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series :-
Two managers fighting for a creamy resource
“Ye resource humko de de”
“Nahin””
Ye resource humko de..”
“Nahin..”
“Haan”.

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series :-
Veteran developer to newbies after solving a major bug
“Jo darr gaya,samjho mar gaya”

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series:-
QA,Tester,BA chatting in canteen.One developer to the other
“Bahot yaarana lagta hai !”.

ITProfes(s)hun:Sholay series:-
A conversation between a sycophant resource and a competent resource
“Soch lo,boss ko pata chala toh appraisal toh gaya”
“Use jaake keh do,maine paper daal diya hai”.

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series:-
Boss and resource arguing about who wins
Boss: “Soch,recognition milega”
Resource : “Tujhe milega”,
Boss: “Grade badhega”
Resource : “Tera badhega”,
Boss: “Promotion hoga”,
Resource : “Tera hoga”

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series:-
Boss: “Agar tu proactive hota toh aaj project A-grade hota!Responsible hota,toh bugs nahin aate
Maine tujhe kya samjha aur tu kya nikla!”
Resouce(murmuring) : “Saala nautanki,ghadi,ghadi drama karta hai !”.

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series :-
“Avsar milta toh tabhi paper daal deta,par kya karta recession ki bedi pairon me,4-4 deadline,appraisal sir pe…YAAD HAI?”.

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series :-
CEO to QA team “Audit kab hai,kab hai audit?”

ITProfes(s)hun :- Sholay series:-
CEO grilling QA team which failed to find any flows in quality process followed by the development teams:
CEO : “Kitne developer the?”
QA team : “Sardar,ek”.
CEO: “Woh ek,aur tum n,phir bhi laut aaye,khaali haath.Kya socha tha,CEO khus hoga,sabaasi dega ! DHIKKAR HAI”.

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series :-
“Nikal gayi inki (coding ki)sab hekadi?sab?Khaak thu …! “

ITProfes(s)hun : Sholay series :-

When HR is handing the pink-slip to an employee(most applicable during recession days) :
Employee : “Sardar,maine aapse appointment letter liya tha sardar !”.
HR: “Ab termination letter le !”.

ii: The second sub-series is ‘guru-gyaan, a realization, an experience, an exasperation,serious stuff …

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series :-
Visibility – As you show,so shall you reap.

ITProfes(s)hun :
if(ownership && leadership && fungibility && false){ isPromoted = true;}
else{ ownershipCount = 0;leadership = 0; etc.= 0;}

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series :-
Quality Audit – The undertaker arriving at a funeral after the RIP(stone) is erected.

ITProfes(s)hun :
After appraisal,I was expected to dump the old and bring something new – I bought a new underwear from the bonus money.

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series :-
Initiative – volunteering for a front everyone is deserting.

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series :-
Farewell of a colleague – A painful reminder of the time running out.

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series :-
Appraisal meeting – For the productive,n hr lost;for the idle,lazy,n hr timesheet provision.

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series:-
Cost-cutting – An atrocity by the 10%,who gulp 50% of profit,on the 90%,who bring most of the profit.

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series:-
Ownership – Two hands,more than one a** to be covered.

ITProfes(s)hun : Euphemism series:-
Proactiveness – wearing an extra underwear.

iii: The below one-liners are random thoughts.

ITProfes(s)hun :
I always wonder about the missing ‘and’ in the term ‘Quality consciousness’ …

ITProfes(s)hun :
Showing how to do something nicely or doing something to show nicely makes the difference in leadership.

ITProfes(s)hun :
(In the context of my environment)Promotion is a SLOW migration from J2EE to Microsoft Office.

ITProfes(s)hun :
The females are smarter than males – the latter take atleast 2 appraisals to start counting man-hours.

ITProfes(s)hun :
Slog करणे हा माझा जन्मसिद्ध हक्क आहे आणि तो मी वापरतोच !!!

ITProfes(s)hun :
Accountability always flows upwards,never downwards …

ITProfes(s)hun :
Often,innovation,standards,best practices etc. die at the hands of a deadline …

ITProfes(s)hun :
Those who can’t pass knowledge pass the buck.